Salem Yelp reviews

[Just Samantha]

The Bistro

Gourmet — one star

This place is disappointing. Any resemblance to a real French bistro is purely coincidental. As for the food, it’s strictly mediocre. You can eat as well for far less at Sonny Kiriakis’s old favorite, the local Big Boy. Atmosphere is decidedly lacking when your hosts are a retired mob princess and a second-string DiMera whose mustache makes him look like Doug from the Liberty Mutual commercials. In fact the resemblance is strong enough that I expected the emu to make an appearance. The bottom line is that unless you enjoy watching the Salem cops stage a drug raid, give this eatery a miss.

Reply from Doug at Liberty Mutual: What's wrong with my mustache?? I thought it made me look handsome and irresistible to the ladies. Is this not the case?

 

[Just Samantha]

Reply from Thomas Magnum: Doug, don't listen to anybody who tries to talk trash on your 'stache. I can guarantee you the ladies will find you handsome and irresistible with it. Just ask all the ladies in Hawaii that I've smooched.

 

[robinsnest]

Reply to Doug from Sam Elliott: you can't believe how the women swoon over a well kept stache.

 

[DrBakerFan]

Brady Pub

Salt and Grease Lover — half-star

The food here has always been decidedly mediocre, but getting it free made up for its many failings. To my amazement, on my last visit the new waitress actually presented me with a bill! Does she think she’s working at McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, or Big Boy or other places that serve real food? Roman Brady better get this woman straightened out before his only customers are relatives who eat there from force of habit.

 

[DrBakerFan]

Body & Soul

Salem Soap Fan — no stars

The new, zombie version of the cancelled B&S premiered today and it’s clear that they shouldn’t have bothered. This production has three strikes against it — bad cast, bad script, and bad sets. It should be returned to the soap cemetery immediately.