Salem Spectator Society Page

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DrBakerFan said:
PROMINENT PHILANTHROPIST TO SPEND TIME IN FLORIDA
Salemites are buzzing about the just-announced plans of Mr. Clyde Weston, the noted trucking company executive and philanthropist, to spend some time in sunny Florida. Details are sketchy, but those in the know say that Mr. Weston will be journeying to the Sunshine State to deal with the fall-out over one his many business enterprises running afoul of law enforcement. It's currently unknown how long Mr. Weston will be away from Salem or in which desirable Florida locale -- Miami, Sarasota, Orlando, etc. -- he will be residing.
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Is has been mentioned in some circles that Mr. Weston might enjoy the accommodations at Guantanomo...the U S Government offers lovely facilities there and I understand the southern waters are delish!! His hosts are expecting that he will find it so like home that his stay becomes extended on and on indefinitely ?
 
PAWNS TO MEET
Former and current pawns, brainwashing and hypnosis victims, and other assorted dupes of Stefano DiMera will gather next month in the Oak Room of the historic Hotel Salem. The event is hosted by Mr. John Black, Mr. DiMera's best-known pawn, who is currently researching his mysterious past. Guests will include one-time brainwashing victim Mr. Steven Johnson; the former Princess Gina, Ms. Hope Brady; and Mr. DiMera's Queen of the Night, Dr. Marlena Evans. Other guests include some European and Asian pawns who aided Mr. DiMera overseas; and at least one elderly former pawn of the late Mr. Santo DiMera. The guests will enjoy drinks, a fine dinner, reminisce about their experiences with Mr. DiMera, watch a slide show of the leading sights in Alamania, and play a rousing game of "pin the horns and tail on a DiMera."
 
SALEM SOCIETY TO SHUN INFAMOUS RETURNEE
Salem's social elite has unanimously agreed to blackball infamous returnee Mr. Andre DiMera. Long thought to be dead, Mr. DiMera, an alleged murderer, was the prime suspect in the notorious "Salem Slasher" killings. Among his other alleged crimes were the kidnapping of the now deceased Dr. Lexie Carver and imprisoning her in Salem's infamous tunnels, and burying Commissioner Roman Brady alive. At a meeting of the exclusive Salem Women's Club, leading socialite Ms. Giselle van Hopper firmly announced that Mr. DiMera would be barred from any of the upcoming events during the winter and spring social season. She also stated: "I hope that Mr. DiMera commits some new crime, which would allow our wonderful police commissioner, Roman Brady, to put him behind bars, where he belongs." There has been no comment on this news from the DiMera Mansion, but is is reported that because of Mr. DiMera's return, many leading Salemites are cancelling plans to take the annual Mansion Hallowe'en candlelight tour.
 
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Heather4CU said:
SALEM JOURNALIST MURDERED
William Roberts Horton is the latest victim of the notorious Salem Red Necktie Killer. Mr. Horton grew up in Salem and Switzerland and was a beloved member of Salem Society. He most recently was employed as a journalist for Salem tabloid, Sonix Magazine where is he most famous for penning the coming out story of retired baseball star and his step-uncle/ex-lover Paul Narita.

Mr. Horton is survived by the following Salemites/immediate family members:
  • Daughter--Arianna Grace Horton
  • Husband--Jackson "Sonny" Kiriakis
  • Baby Mama--Gabriela Hernandez
  • Mother--Samantha Gene Brady Reed Reed Horton Dimera Hernandez Dimera
  • Father--Lucas Roberts Horton
  • Sister--Alice "Allie" Caroline Horton
  • Brother--Johnny Dimera
  • Sister--Sydney Dimera
  • Paternal Grandmother--Kate Roberts
  • Paternal Grandfather--Bill Horton
  • Maternal Grandmother--Dr. Marlena Evans North Craig Brady Black
  • Maternal Grandfather--Police Commissioner Roman Brady
  • Maternal Great Grandmother--Caroline Brady
  • Uncle--Former Father Eric Brady
  • Aunt--Carrie Brady Reed
  • Aunt--Belle Black Brady
  • Step-Uncle--Brady Black
  • Step-Uncle--Newly discovered Paul Narita:eek:
  • Aunt--Jennifer Horton Deveraux
  • Uncle--Dr. Michael Horton
  • Uncle--Austin Reed
  • Aunt--Billie Reed
  • Uncle--Philip Kiriakis
  • Great Aunt--Dr. Kayla Brady
  • Great Aunt--Kimberly Brady Donovan
  • Great Uncle--Shane Donovan
  • Uncle--Bo Brady
  • Cousin--Abigail Deveraux
  • Cousin--JJ Deveraux
  • Cousin--Jeannie Theresa Donovan
  • Cousin--Andrew Donovan
  • Cousin--Tate Donovan Black
  • Cousin--Ciara Alice Brady
  • Cousin--Shawn-Douglas Brady
  • Cousin--Chelsea Brady
  • Cousin--Joey Johnson
  • Cousin--Stephanie Johnson
  • Cousin--Claire Brady
  • Cousin--Baby No Name Reed
  • Cousin--Hope Williams Brady
  • Cousin--Julie Olsen Williams
  • Step-Cousin--Eve Donovan Larsen
  • Former Stepfather/Arianna's Uncle--Detective Rafe Hernandez
St. Luke's Church kindly asks any Salemite NOT related to Mr. Horton to please leave town or stay home on the day of the funeral so as to provide ample parking for mourners. May he rest in peace.
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Dear Salem Spectator,

I guess we don't rate a mention, even though we are the aunt and uncle of William Horton?

Sincerely, Cassie and Rex Brady

Reply from editor: Exactly WHO are you???


Dear Salem Spectator,

My brother and I are also great uncles to William. And don't forget, my brother is also living with our niece, Chelsea.

Sincerely, Frankie (and Max) Brady

Reply from editor: Our apologies, but "ewwwwww" on the living with your niece part.
 
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Dear Salem Spectator,

I was also the prime suspect in the Salem Stalker Abductions.

Sincerely, an irritated Andre Dimera

Reply from Editor of Salem Spectator: Mr. Dimera you are actually upset we didn't cite every infamous crime you have been accused of!? I must say what a truly sick puppy you are even by Salem standards.
 
Just Samantha said:
Dear Salem Spectator,

I guess we don't rate a mention, even though we are the aunt and uncle of William Horton?

Sincerely, Cassie and Rex Brady

Reply from editor: Exactly WHO are you???.
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Dear Cassie and Rex Brady,

You are correct. You do not rate a mention in our fine newspaper. We do not cover individuals who travel via UFO.

Best,
Salem Spectator
 
MEMBER OF LEADING SALEM FAMILY RETURNS
Add Shawn Douglas Brady to the list of notable Salemites who have recently returned to our fair city. Mr. Brady is the son of long-lost investigator Mr. Bo Brady and trigger-happy detective Ms. Hope Brady, the one-time Salem mugger and the current fiancee of the financially-strapped, bottom-feeding shyster attorney Mr. Aiden Jennings. His grandparents include Titan mogul Mr. Victor Kiriakis and the Pub's sainted current proprietor, Ms. Caroline Brady, who is also known for her role raising the children of notorious Salem screecher Ms. Sami Brady-DiMera while she was busy with more pressing business than child care. As many Salemites will recall, Mr. Shawn Douglas Brady is a Salem Police Academy dropout, the former paramour of the late trollop, Ms. Willow Stark, and the ex-husband of would-be murderer Ms. Mimi Lockhart. Informed sources report that Mr. Brady will soon be joined by his beloved wife, Belle, and their daughter, Claire, who is best remembered for being lost at sea during a typhoon and then remarkably turning up unharmed at a Chicago child beauty contest. While away from Salem, Mr. Brady and his family have been sailing the oceans of the world aboard the legendary Fancy Face II, and they will surely have many thrilling travel tales to tell inquiring Salemites who drop by the Pub for a bowl of its famous chowder.
 
Dear Salem Spectator,

Why does my doody-head cousin/brother-in-law get such a nice write-up when he comes to town and I get diddley-squat??!

And, I DO NOT screech!!

I HATE YOU!!!

Sami Brady DiMera Hernandez Horton Reed Walker
 
Dear Ms. Brady DiMera Hernandez Horton Reed Walker,

You received "diddley squat," as you so crudely put it, because we chose not to give our readers indigestion by inflicting on them a long article about your thankfully brief return. And by general consensus, you do so screech. In a recent poll conducted by journalism students at Salem U., you topped the list of Salem "screechers," easily besting Town Square ranters Ms. Eve Larson and Ms. Jennifer Deveraux. Finally, we are pleased to be added to the list of people that you "HATE." In fact, we will add this fact to our masthead. It's sure to increase our circulation.

Yours truly, Salem Spectator
 
DrBakerFan, thank you for the very informative Society Page update/summary (family member returning) it seems that I have missed much over the years! :)

JS, I was confused about the chronology of Sami's married names, until I realized that you have listed them alphabetically. :)

PS: The Society Page threads are among my faves on the Salem Spectator forum. All of you folks are killing me! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
SALEM WOMEN'S CLUB ANNOUNCES MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD WINNER
Ms. Giselle van Hopper, president of the elite Salem Women's Club, has announced its winner of the Salem Mother of the Year Award for 2016. It is Ms. Meriwether Daisy Buchanan who has balanced her many pressing social and civic responsibilities with mothering her two highly successful children. Son Thomas IV is a senior honor student at Harvard who has just been accepted to Harvard Law School, and daughter Victoria Daisy is a sophomore at Princeton and a candidate for the U.S. Olympic Equestrian Team. We congratulate Ms. Buchanan for winning this prestigious award and Ms. van Hopper and her colleagues for such a fine choice.

Reply from Daniel: Why wasn't my egg-mother, Ms. Maggie Kiriakis, the winner? She would have done a fine job of raising me if she'd known that I existed. Just sayin'.

Reply from Jennifer: They must have forgotten me! Ms. Buchanan had the assistance of a rich husband, while my husband, Jack, was missing most of the time. And nobody can compare to my fine children: Abigail, a brilliant administrator; and JJ, a very talented musician who recently helped the police and DEA end Salem's drug plague.

Reply from Jeannie T.: Keep an eye on me, Salem Women's Club. When I'm a famous, wealthy dress designer and my darling baby, Tater Tot, is a brilliant scholar and famous athlete, you'll be begging me to accept your award.

Reply from Sami: OMG, those doodyheads gave the award to some socialite airhead, and not me, Salem's BEST mother? What a joke. I'm a famous celebrity who did a great job raising her half-dozen or so children, whose names I really do know ... I think. They're dumber than my hag sister, Carrie. I HATE the Salem Women's Club!
 
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SALEM'S SOCIAL ELITE TO HOLD ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION
Leading Salem socialites have announced plans to hold an exclusive white-tie ball at the exclusive Salem Country Club, which they say will be the true highlight our city's big anniversary celebration. According to the leader of Salem high society, Ms. Giselle van Hopper, Salem's leading citizens could hardly have been expected to attend the historic mansion affair, whose announced guest list included such people as a convicted murderer, a former teen drug dealer, certain women who raucously argue in the middle of the Town Square, shyster lawyer Aiden Jennings, and the scheming Kate Roberts Brady whose latest business venture is a probably doomed attempt to revive the down-at-the-heels Basic Black fashion design house. Stylish society ladies also objected to the mansion affair's theme, which had women guests wearing what they thought were remarkably tacky gowns and utterly outlandish wigs. According to Ms. van Hopper, "ball guests can be assured of a refined affair, attended only by the best people, and that the odious Stefano DiMera and his vile son will not get past the front door should they dare attempt to attend."
 
JENNINGS-BRADY NUPTIALS END ON LOW NOTE
The gala wedding day of attorney Mr. Aiden Jennings and police detective Ms. Hope Brady ended rather badly this evening after the couple returned home and the groom attempted to emulate Salem's dreaded necktie killer by strangling his bride. Ms. Brady was miraculously saved from an awful death by the sudden appearance of her long-lost ex-husband, Mr. Beauregard Aurelius Brady. Apparently Mr. Brady broke into the Brady residence just in time to save Ms. Brady, and, in the struggle with Mr. Jennings, fatally shot him to death. Salem society has been severely jolted by these unseemly events and many theories are currently circulating on why Mr. Jennings suddenly turned into a homicidal maniac. Mr. Andre DiMera has already moved to squelch any speculation that his family was responsible by categorically denying any DiMera involvement with this horrid crime and wishing Ms. Brady a speedy recovery.
 
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SALEM SOCIETY SWEPT BY RECONCILIATIONS
Salem, a city sadly known for its residents' desire for revenge and conflict, is suddenly witnessing the opposite. According to informed reports, former police detective and sometime secret agent, Mr. Beauregard A. Brady, is making progress in winning back his ex-wife, Ms. Hope Brady, whose recent brief marriage to attorney Aiden Jennings ended under unpleasant circumstances. Another fumbling secret agent, Mr. Steven "Patch" Johnson, also seems on the road to marital bliss as his ex-wife, Dr. Kayla Johnson, seems to be on the verge of forgiving him for his extended absences caused by his fumbling, amatuerish efforts in the cloak-and-dagger game. Finally, Titan CEO, Mr. Brady Black, was seen sharing a serious kiss at the anniversary gala with Basic Black designer Ms. Jeannie Theresa Donovan, despite their past tumultuous relationship, which included rumors that Ms. Donovan put Mr. John Black into his latest coma by striking him with a poker. Society leader Ms. Giselle van Hopper applauded these developments, noting that the vulgar, offensive desire for revenge has too often dominated life in Salem. She added that she hopes Police Commissioner Roman Brady will join in this new positive development by accepting her invitation to dinner at the exclusive Chez Rouge restaurant.
 
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