If you lived in Salem....

I work at Salem University Hospital in the administrative department. The other day I came in to work a few minutes late (okay, it was early afternoon), and my boss screamed at me wanting to know "who do you think you are, Jennifer Horton?!!!!"
 
I am a detective; I became one to track down some people in my complicated life. I had an affair with Tanner Schofield but he wanted to stay with wife Molly so I left. I am here in Salem because I didn't want Tanner to know I was pregnant. I gave birth a couple months ago and now they are enrolled at Salem University; they are about 22 years old now. Quadruplets. I only think one is Tanner's though..one is Brady's; I think the other two I'm not sure. :confused: Rafe? Can't let Sami know he's a possibility.

Anyway, I found out I am an egg baby too, but not by Maggie's basket ...thankfully. I know my father is for sure either Stefano or Victor; now if I can figure out who mommy is, who daddy is (for sure) and who my "babies" daddies are. Time to go to work at Salem PD.


I was already pregnant when I was inseminated with 3 more ...Stupid hospital. I tell you that because I'm not loose or anything :wink:.
 
True........ true........ buuuuuuut if I recall correctly, you had a lot to drink that night, Kristen DiMera slipped a little somethin somethin in your drink, your signature is loopy and not fully on the dotted line, it probably wouldn't match up to your sober signature aaaaaaaaaaand I don't think it would be admissible in a court of law.

Come to think of it though........ this is Salem, U.S.A., where the laws differ from any other state and probably would be admissible, so............. you have that sexy little lawyer man of yours review your lawsuit against me and in the meantime I'm going to have a little talk with Ciara Brady and Theo Carver to see what we can come up with and counter sue you.. I'm sure she has some piece of evidence against you in that little back pack of hers. :rotfl:
 
So, my brother and I were adopted by the Bradys at a very young age and I grew up knowing Roman, Kim, Bo and Kayla as my siblings. As I got older, I noticed that some of my nieces were pretty cute.

I struggled with what to do for a long time but I finally became comfortable with the fact that we aren’t blood related and therefore it would be ok to date them.

I dated Stephanie but am now with Chelsea, which is going great and to my surprise, my brothers and sisters appear to be ok with this too. I know weird, eh!

But……..Hmmmmmmm…….I wonder what Jeannie Theresa is up to these days….

EEEWWWWW!!!!
 
I've decided to become a big crime boss in Salem. I've also decided to hire Ciara as my #1 "enforcer". I've given her free reign to handle situations in any way she sees fit.

You've all been given ample warning. If you have skeletons in your closets, you better either move out of Salem or clean up your act since Ciara will shake those bones loose.
 
I am the president of dear old Salem U. At academic conferences, I like to brag about all the top students who pass up big-name schools like Wake Forest and Stanford to attend our fine university. Admittedly, our standards aren't all that high, but the success rate of our graduates, and even drop-outs, is truly remarkable. For example, one young man owns the fabulously popular Club TBD here in Salem and another is well on his way to becoming a famous writer. Accordingly, we have high hopes for all our incoming freshman, including a young, long-haired man whose chief interests are currently the regular use of controlled substances, partying, and skateboarding. After a brief exposure to life at Salem U., I fully expect that he'll become a doctor at University Hospital, a famous trial lawyer, police commissioner, mayor (who is our mayor anyway?), or the head of a leading corporation such as Titan or DiMera Enterprises. P.S., if you haven't done so already, please send a generous donation to our annual fund-raising drive.
 
I am the principal of good old Salem High. Am I ever glad that the Class of 2014 has graduated. It included the kid who ran amok in the Town Square (who can blame him -- his mother is an impossibly prissy pain in the you know what), a remarkably nasty young woman who delighted in butting into others' lives, a slacker skateboarder and his gal pal, and an otherwise nice young lady whose mother is a total witch (I hear that she's now trying to take money from our veterans). I hope the incoming freshman class is made up of good, uncomplicated kids. I need a rest.
 
I am a waitress at the Mandalay Cafe on the Town Square, home of the best coffee in Salem. My job can be tough -- dealing with self-absorbed, annoying, and demanding customers, especially that old witch with the blue chunk (she's a lousy tipper). But what's really bad are the wretched people who hang around the Town Square and conduct loud, pointless conversations about their personal lives. Believe me, if I had a garden hose, I'd have used it on that nasty creature who wants to steal money from the veterans, the sullen ex-priest who blames other people for his problems, or that screechy nutcase Sami Brady and her lowlife husband. Listen up, people. If you come to the Town Square, enjoy coffee or a meal at the Mandalay, shop at the nice stores, but skip the noisy personal stuff. It may be hard to believe, but nobody else cares about your stupid lives!
 
Okay, so awhile back I was bragging how I was this big corporate executive.... holding meetings in public, spending money right like there was no tomorrow.... well have any of you seen me????

NO.... that's cause I found this foxy dude... yeah, a little old for me... but YOWZA... and money.... the dude is really hip deep in it.... anyway this crazy broad he was hanging with.... has me locked in a tiny box.... and she's constantly bugging me on the television screen she had built into the cover..... this box... well it looks sort of like a ..... OH HELP ME!!!!!!

It's a coffin........ H-E-L-P!!
 
I've decided to become a high-powered lawyer. I'm starting law school on Monday, graduating on Friday and opening my law practice the following Wednesday (taking a long weekend after graduating and all).

People with lost cats shouldn't bother hiring me. I have better things to do, like represent prissy know-it-alls, screechy blondes, sulky priests, former hookers and the occasional DiMera.
 
So... I had a baby last year. He is a darling young man with ambitions! He's a cute little druggy, but don't worry- he'll graduate high school this year right on time, attend Salem U. during the summer, and be a doctor by next fall. I'm sure somewhere he's knocked up some chick who'll show up at the hospital with the kid... oh I'm a grandma now! What a year!
 
I'm also a private investigator in my spare time and I just found out your "baby daddy" is none other than Stefano DiMera. He's planning on kidnapping your kid and teaching him how to be a true DiMera.

I've arranged for Susan Banks Crumb to give you a call and tell you about how well that works out.

In the meantime, Sami Brady is running around town saying your kid is "the father of four of her children". You might want to look into that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top