Faux spoilers, part 8

Hoping to breathe new life into the tired old hackneyed plots of Will, Sonny, and Ms Blue Chunk and her latest ill-minded paramour, additional "fresh" spoilers are released with "new" ideas.

Will is shocked when he comes face to face with a very much alive Leo - who it turns out is actually Leo's twin, Theo.

Paul is heartbroken when he walks in on Will in bed with Sonny - only to find out that it's actually Will's recently-discovered twin, Bill.

Sonny is shocked by the sudden affection of Paul - unaware that Paul's evil twin, Saul, has replaced him.

Theo blackmails Saul (thinking he's Paul) and Bill (thinking he's Will) over Leo's death - only to be shocked by a very much alive Leo, who reports that his DiMera-made lookalike was the one who really died.

A mysterious occupant in the K-mansion garden shed with a disfigured face claims to be the real Leo - or is he the DiMera made double? - and that his death "didn't take".

Kate is not implicated in murdering Ted. But she must answer to his twin brother, Jed.

Theo gives both Leos the opportunity to open a rare Stark family puzzle box - knowing that only the real Leo Stark will be able to open it.
 
Hoping to amp up interest in the Marlena plot, TPTB float some alternative plot lines.

Marlena awakens, but to John's horror, she actually thinks that she's the Queen of the Night.

Marlena awakens and tries to find her way out of the hospital basement. Instead, she accidentally locks herself in a closet where nobody can hear her calls for help.

Hattie tries to kidnap Marlena, but her plans are foiled by Ben who happens to be passing by. Hope fumes as Ben is declared a Salem civic hero.

Marlena awakens and wanders into the hospital chapel where she walks in on John reluctantly marrying Hattie.

After Marlena awakens, Eric pays a visit to tell her that he's dumped Jenny for Nicole. Marlena tells him that he's an idiot. She also suggests that he quit being a part-time amateur bartender and get a real job.
 
With Eric distraught over the apparent death of poor Nicole, the writers are at a loss over what to do with the character next. In the hope of getting fan feedback, they have floated some alternative spoilers.

Eric enters a catatonic state and is sent to Bayview or Shady Hills, where Jenny visits him everyday.

Eric tries to resume his bar tending duties, but Roman has to reassign him to dish washing because he was scaring away customers. (Each episode has a scene where Eric weeps into the soap suds.)

Eric checks with Bishop Wright about rejoining the priesthood and is told that he should first spend several months at a monastery and then specialize in doing exorcisms. (Yes, Salem has a monastery, and, as viewers know, could really use an exorcist.)

Eric joins the Salem P.D. and Hope puts him on her new Ben Task Force.

Convinced that Nicole is still alive, Eric leaves Salem to search all secret Kiriakis-owned islands, villas, Greek tavernas, warehouses, and olive groves.

Convinced that Chad is useless as Titan CEO and fed up with Brady and Sonny, Victor rolls the dice and gives Eric a chance to run the company. (After all, he couldn't be worse than Ian McAllister.)
 
Knowing that the viewers like the return of fan favorites, TBTB float some possibilities.

Xander returns with a quickie MBA earned at Salem U.'s Athens campus. Victor outrages one and all by considering him for CEO of Titan.

Jack returns and immediately offends Jenny when he suggests that sleeveless dresses aren't the best choice for chilly upper Midwest winters.

Rory returns and Hope unsuccessfully pressures him to sell Ben drugs so that she can arrest him.

Mami returns and reads the riot act to Gabi for neglecting her child in favor of crazy revenge plots.

T returns as the popular manager of Doug's Place. Both Chloe and Julie fret because they are too lazy to cope with anything but a largely-empty establishment.

Allie and Lucas return telling tales of the total weirdness they witnessed while staying with Sami and Mummy EJ in Italy.
 
Hoping to get Leo fans among the viewers excited, TPTB float some possible spoilers.

Fed up with the inept leadership that his relatives have provided as Titan CEO, Victor holds his nose and puts Leo in charge of the company. Leo then asks Sonny if he wants to be his executive assistant.

After Stefan Zero (out on bail) kills off GabiChic, Leo decides to juice up the Salem fashion scene with his own line of "exciting" men's suits, shirts, and accessories called Leo Wear.

Fed up with Sonny's attitude and Victor's snark, Leo starts leaking embarrassing stories about the Kiriakis family to Salem's leading scandal sheet, the Intruder. E.g., Maggie's cookies aren't really home-made, Victor uses a joke book to help him come up with one-liners, and Sonny sleeps with a teddy bear.

Tired of in-crowd Salemites who won't give him the time of day, Leo starts:
  • going to police headquarters to mock Hope and Rafe's inability to catch crooks;
  • repeatedly asking Hope why she's police commissioner while her accomplice in her mugging rampage, Dr. Baker, is still in jail;
  • suggesting to Sheila that in the next election she should run against Mayor Abe;
  • harassing Roman by visiting the Pub to count the number of clams in the bowls of chowder that he sells to his customers;
  • lurking in the Town Square, hoping to lay some snark on arguing Salemites;
  • trying to heat up the Jenny-Eve feud by feeding each of them false insulting statements allegedly made by the other;
  • repeatedly telling Eric to smile and Sarah to shut up.
 
Believing that they have a winner in Leo's mother, Diana, TPTB leak some alternative spoilers to generate more viewer interest.

An angry Leo pushes Diana who falls and hits her head. Believing her to be dead, Leo wraps her up in a rug.

Victor becomes so angry at the sight of Diana that he has a heart attack and has to be rushed to University Hospital.

Furious that Leo is so rude to her, Diana plots with Will and Sonny to frame him for a crime.

Angry that Sonny is always grinning when Diana is in the room, Leo threatens to expose him to the police.

Bored with the Leo-Sonny rivalry, Diana moves in on Jack, infuriating Eve and Jenny.

Awed by Brady's physique when he wanders in the K-mansion living room wearing one of Xander's towels, she suggests a little granny sex.

Diana meets Ben in the Town Square and takes a liking to him. After hearing about how he's been persecuted by Hope, Diana rushes over the to the police station to confront the corrupt police commissioner.
 
Now that Ben has saved Ciara, TPTB float some alternative story lines for Salem's newest hero.

Ben joins Black Patch, specializing in outing cheating husbands and cases involving remote cabins. He also helps John find out if he has any more surprise children lurking out there.

Ben joins the Salem P.D. and quickly becomes the most capable member of the force, making Rafe, Eli, and Lani jealous.

Ben goes to work for Jenny's Spectator and writes such great stories the once-moribund paper is saved from bankruptcy.

Ben becomes a hero to Sonny and Will by convincing Leo to get out of town. Ben also pleases Victor by getting Sarah to shut up at last. Sonny then convinces a grateful Victor to make Ben number two at Titan.

Ben is hired as a bartender at the Pub. He's such a pleasant addition that new customers flock in for Brady Burgers, etc. Ben even gets gloomy Eric to sort of smile once in a while and convinces lady customers to give Roman a kiss.

Ben gets a quickie law degree from Salem University School of Law and quickly begins running legal circles around Justin and Ted. He also saves Haley from deportation.

Ben gets his instant M.D. from Salem University Medical School and becomes Kayla's favorite physician because he achieves more miracle cures than the Love Doctor ever did.
 
Thinking that they've hit paydirt with Ted, TPTB float some possible spoilers about the further legal adventures of the slimy shyster.

Clyde contacts Ted about suing Jordan and Ben for defaming him by claiming that he was a monstrous father.

JJ asks Ted to represent Haley in immigration proceedings thinking that if anyone can put one over on ICE it's him.

Leo emails Ted to see if he has a cause of action against John for back child support.

Once again turned off by Rexy, Sarah asks Ted if she can sue him for intentional infliction of emotional distress because he knowingly hurt her badly by sleeping with her sister.

Dr. Baker, Gus, and Vargas contact Ted about getting them out of prison, arguing that their long, indeterminate sentences are a violation of due process because Hope and other Salem insiders have served absurdly short sentences for major felonies.

Sami calls Ted from Europe to see if it's possible to sue John Black for ruining her life.

Miserable as usual and wishing that he had never been born, Eric asks Ted if he can sue Marlena and Roman for wrongful birth.
 
Ben has a meeting with Clyde who slips and admits the reason he was so abusive to his wife was because she had an affair with John Black, and John is Ben's real father. Ben goes to John with this news. John apologizes to Ben that he had it so rough growing up with Clyde and welcomes him into the family.

Jordan finds an old letter from their mother in a family bible that says she also slept with John while married to Jordan's father and John is Jordan's real father. Jordan gets word to John who apologizes that she had it so bad growing up with Clyde and welcomes her into the family.

Aiden Jennings has lunch with his mother who admits to having an affair with John and that John is his real father. Aiden calls John with the news, who apologizes for anything bad that happened in his childhood and welcomes him into the family.

Rory's mom, in a fit of rage, admits that John Black is his real father. Rory tells John, who apologizes for not being there as he grew up and welcomes him into the family.

Jade writes to Kayla, saying her mom admitted to having a relationship with John Black back in the day, and that he's her real father. Kayla breaks the news to John, who apologizes to Jade for having a rough childhood and welcomes her into the family.

Someone comes across Arnold Finnegar's (fake Rafe) mother who admits she had an affair with John and that he was Arnold's real father. They tell John, who goes to Arnold's grave and apologizes for anything bad in his life and says he'll always cherish his memory in the family tree.

Mia contacts Will to say she did a mail-away DNA test and found her dad isn't her real dad. She confronted her mom who admitted John Black is her real father. John gets in touch with Mia, apologizes for not being there as she grew up and welcomes her into the family.

Justin hires John to look into Haley's background and he discovers that he had an affair with Haley's mom and he is Haley's real dad. He tells her he's sorry for all she's gone through in her childhood and welcomes her into the family.
 
Hearing ugly rumors that viewers aren't exactly taken with the Rexy-Eric-Sarah triangle, TPTB plan quick action to remedy things.

[Original spoilers]
Eric argues with Rexy about Sarah at the Pub, Doug's Place, the apartment, the Town Square, and the K-mansion.
Sarah consults with Maggie yet again about Rexy's cheating ways.
Rexy and Sarah argue about whether they should stay together.
Rexy parades around in a towel as Sarah gleefully looks on. Eric suddenly walks into the apartment.
Eric, looking pained, talks endlessly with Sarah about her relationship with Rexy.

[New spoilers]
Rexy, Sarah, and Eric go on a Salem Harbor dinner cruise. The ship catches fire and sinks. Rexy, Sarah, and Eric vanish without a trace.
With Rexy, Sarah, and Eric gone, their places in the cast are taken by Lucas, Rory, and Xander.
 
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