Faux spoilers, part 8

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Just Samantha said:
John is chained in the warehouse, when Yo Ling and his goons bring in a woman, with a hood over her head. Yo Ling taunts John and says they're going to kill his beloved daughter. John screams "NOOOOOOOOOO, not my Tinker Belle", then the hood is removed and it's Sami.

John says, "whatever, she hates me anyway since I ruined her life and am a doodyhead, so do what you want to her".

After an hour of listening to Sami screeching, Yo Ling decides none of this is worth it, releases them both and goes to the Salem Post Office to die.
Click to expand...
Before Yo-Daddy crawls off to the never-seen Salem Post office, perhaps there would have been a conversation that goes like this.

Sami: Hey you creepy old wreck, John is a doodyhead. He ruined my life. I HATE him!

Yo-Daddy: You hate my wonderful son all of whose blood I'm about to take?

Sami: And I HATE you too. If you'd have watched your stoopid old black-and-white TV years ago instead of hitting the sheets with your sorry, doodyheaded wife , there never would have been a John Black!

Yo-Daddy: What?

Sami: You stink. You and your doodyhead son can't compare to my darling changed smoochy-moochy. I HATE you both!

Yo-Daddy: Smoochy who?

Sami: You doodyhead! Everyone knows it's my handsome, brilliant wonderful EJ, who's still alive somewhere!

Yo-Daddy: What in the name of the Old Masters are you screeching about?

John: Give it up, Dad. Nobody can win an argument with Sami.
 
Before Yo Daddy attempts to kill John, he tells him a final, shocking secret. He and Yo Mommy actually stole John from a pregnant teen on a farm outside of Salem and she's his real mother. And by happy coincidence, Stefano DiMera was his father.
 
Hoping to forget her problems, Abigail attends a 1970s movie festival at Salem U., but freaks out when she sees this poster.

Ben_poster.JPG
 
Thinking that bringing back the supposedly dead Aiden Jennings will be a big hit with viewers, TPTB announce some additional unlikely returns.

Stefano returns long enough to laugh at Hope and say that he was wearing a bulletproof vest when she shot him, and that after she and Rafe dumped him in the warehouse, Harold picked him up and they both took a fun vacation in Alamania. He then promptly leaves town to search for his stolen millions.

Nick returns, which overjoys Julie and puzzles Gabi. JJ then starts worrying that Gabi might leave him and go back to Nick.

Paige returns, explaining that it was a look-alike who was strangled, and that she's been taking classes at Stanford for the past year. Gabi, already confused by the return of Nick, starts worrying that JJ will go back to Paige.

Serena returns, also saying a look-alike was strangled. She's shocked to learn that both Xander and Eric are in jail. With nothing else to do, she takes her old job at University Hospital and starts provoking arguments with Nicole.

Jack returns, explaining that he's had amnesia since falling down the elevator shaft. He starts to have second thoughts about reuniting with Jenny after discovering what Anne reported in today's episode: that an Internet search will get 16,000 hits for "I hate Jennifer Horton."
 
Trying to forget his many problems, Chad sits down with a drink and tries to imagine Thomas growing up in the DiMansion.

Thomas: "Daddy, can I start answering the door. Uncle Harold never does."

Thomas: "Jimmy, let's play in the dungeon. I'll be RoboJohn and you can be Hollingsworth."

Thomas: "Bobby, let's go to the old lab and pretend to do memory erasing. I'll be Uncle Rolf and you can be John Black."

Thomas: "Billy, let's play sword fight. I'll be Uncle Tony, you be Uncle Andre, and Jimmy can be Uncle Bart."

College-Age Thomas: "Hey, babe, let's go sit on the Love Couch in the living room. I'll be Uncle EJ and you can be Sami Brady."
 
Chad has another drink and continues his reverie by imagining his future conversations with Thomas.

Thomas: Are all the things that people say about Aunt Sami really true?

Thomas: Why do we have to go to Grandma Jenny's house? She talks too much.

Thomas: Why does boring Grandma Jenny say mean things about some lady named Eve?

Thomas: Why can't Uncle JJ get a job with a real police force?

Thomas: Hey Dad, when my friends and I play "Cops and Nonno," Nonno always wins.

Thomas: Is it true that Great-Uncle Roman hasn't had a kiss since way, way before I was born?
 
By his third drink, Chad begins to worry about the embarrassing or awkward questions that Thomas might start asking when he gets older.

Teen Thomas: "Hey Dad, did you really once disrupt a wedding? What was that all about?"

Teen Thomas: "I heard that you once beat up some guy named Nick Fallon. Is that true, Dad?"

Teen Thomas: "Dad, did Uncle EJ really once shower with Mom?"

Teen Thomas: "By the way Dad, who is this Ben Weston that I hear about every so often?"

Teen Thomas: "Was Uncle Andre really framed by the cops for killing poor Nonno? Was he Dad?"

Teen Thomas: "Dad, in Salem history class today, we heard about some really dumb guy named D.A. Charles Woods. Did you know him?
 
Salemites gather for the reveal of who stole Tate after receiving anonymous invitations to gather at the Horton Town Square. A lot of bickering going on when suddenly Maggie leaps up from her chair screaming, and the crowd goes silent.

Maggie: You are all SO stupid! You never ever guessed that it could be me who is the mastermind."

All looking confused at each other

Maggie: "Don't you get it?! I STOLE TATE! If I can't have my precious egg baby Daniel, you can't have Tate!!"

Maggie runs away faster than anyone and cannot be caught.
 
Sami returns to Salem to stand in the middle of the Town Square to hawk Truly Radiant products to the parents of trick-or-treaters. She calls all those who refuse to buy them "doodyheads."

When Deimos sees Sami, he angrily accuses her of starting the Salem practice of keeping new fathers in the dark about the the existence of their offspring. He then beats a hasty retreat after being subjected to one of Sami's screechy rants.

Orpheus reveals that his goal is to break Stefano's record for coming back to life.

Marlena urges Salem parents not to allow their children to dress up as Stefano or his Queen of the Night for Halloween. She also expresses disapproval of adults wearing Andre masks at Halloween parties.

When Jeannie T. mentions Summer to Maggie, she responds, "Who?"

Kate admits that she would never approve of any woman with whom Lucas is involved.

When a rumor circulates that Jade is pregnant with Joey's baby, some unkind persons suggest that Black Patch be renamed "Gramps and Pops, Private Eyes."
 
While doing major digging and investigating, Roman, Rafe, John and Justin discover that Stefano is still alive. He was replaced moments before Hope entered the DiMansion with another lookalike, by none other than the still alive EJ.

Roman, Rafe, John and Justin decide they hate EJ more than they love Hope, so they all keep their mouths shut, not wanting anyone to know EJ is still alive. Plus, they know if Sami finds out the truth about EJ, she'll be back in Salem, screeching away.
 
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