Faux spoilers, part 6

Thinking that the viewers are thrilled by the exploits of "Super Dan," TPTB leaks some spoilers about some of his upcoming exploits.

For starters, Super Dan gets Brady to stop drinking, taking drugs, and hanging out with women of questionable character.

Next, Super Dan convinces Sami that she talks far too much and that she should start taking care of her children.

Then, Super Dan gently persuades Maggie that she should stick to cookie baking and quit giving other people unwanted advice.

Fresh from this success, Super Dan convinces Adrienne to quit butting into her son's life.

Super Dan then convinces Victor that some of his one-liners are a trifle unkind.

Then, in a real coup, Super Dan convinces EJ to quit womanizing and lead an honest life.

Thrilled by all his successes, an over-confident Super Dan goes over to the Horton home to convince Jennifer to give up her prissy, self-righteous ways. Sadly, he is subjected to a rant of such proportions that it peels the wallpaper off the walls of the Horton living room.
 
In order to heighten viewer excitement over the arrest of Kristen and the possibility that she'll stand trial, TPTB issue some spoilers that they hope will add to the drama.

Salem mothers start telling their children that if they don't behave, Kristen will get them.

After every Sunday Mass at St. Luke's, Father Louis leads the congregation in a special prayer that Salem will be spared any more of Kristen's evil deeds.

Various stores around Salem start stocking Kristen Hallowe'en masks.

Mattel announces plans to stock Kristen Barbies, which will be available in time for the Salem Christmas shopping season.

Club TBD and other Salem social spots start serving the "Kristen Kocktail," a drink with such a kick that will leave you with no memory of what you did the night before.

Wanting his force to be ready for a possible Kristen escape attempt, Roman has the Salem P.D. shooting range targets redesigned so they look like the Salem witch.

The "Kristen Look" becomes all the rage with young women who party at Club TBD and other Salem bars and clubs. (Rory loves it.)
 
Someone named "Fabby Schmeveraux" starts posting various things about Sami in the comments of TruVista.

She posts that Sami:

Kidnapped her baby sister and tried to sell her on the baby black market
Shot a man in the family jewels
Lied about her son's paternity for a few years
Was on trial and was nearly executed for killing a man
Got her stepfather hooked on drugs, while dressed up as a man
Cheated on her own husband with EJ DiMera
Reminds everyone that she shot a police officer
Doesn't even remember how many children she has or what their real names are

Sami reads these comments and vows to find out who "Fabby Schmeveraux" is and destroy her.
 
Having heard that there is a new superhero in Salem, Edna Mode, costume designer for the Incredibles family, shows up in Salem to try and create an appropriate costume for Daniel Jonas. But when Daniel refuses to shave and have a decent haircut, Edna decides he's not worth a good costume. Instead, she creates one with a cape and keeps her fingers crossed that someday soon, Super Dan's cape will get stuck somewhere and he will have to concentrate on doing surgeries instead of trying to save the world or fighting off reporters at the Devereaux/Horton house with his so scary voice yelling "no comments".
 
Hoping to keep up viewer excitement about Will's article, TPTB release some spoilers that they hope will keep the ball rolling.

Will's old Salem High English teacher sends him a copy of his article with all his writing mistakes marked in red.

Will's Salem U. writing professor denies that Will was ever in his class.

When Will ventures into the Town Square he is set upon by umbrella-wielding mothers who accuse him of being a bad son and a bad writer.

TruVista is swamped by submissions from Salem Middle School students who claim that they are better writers than Will.

Salem radio stations dedicate Rod McKuen's old 1961 song, Oliver Twist, to Will because of its lines: "he can't write a letter, cause he can't spell" and "falls asleep in grammar class."

Will is offended when Rory mocks the quality of his article and asks if he was high when he wrote it.
 
Thinking that the viewers greatly enjoyed the Abigail-Ben tuna-fueled romantic dinner, TPTB offer some spoilers on this theme.

Hoping to add to his revenue, Sonny decides to make the Club TBD storeroom available for young lovers' private romantic dinners.

Maggie's suggestion to Victor that they have a romantic dinner in a Chez Rouge storeroom falls flat.

Thinking that Ben's tuna breath put Abigail into a romantic mood, young men try eating a can of Starkist before hitting Salem's bars and clubs.

Caroline warns EJ to not even think about using the Pub storeroom for "private purposes."

Kate turns green (which clashes with her blue chunk) when Clyde suggests some squirrel stew in the Salem Inn storeroom.

And on the subject of Clyde, when the Smith Island critter defense force (pictured below) learns that he likes squirrel hunting, they arrange for the purchase of custom-fitted body armor, M16 assault rifes, some pump-action shotguns, and rocket launchers.

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:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

The Smith Island squirrels join them:

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Pleased that the plot involving Will's article generated so much viewer interest, TPTB announce what they think are juicy spoilers about future articles.

Sami is outraged when she is named in a tell-all article about no-show Salem CEOs.

Kate is highly displeased when she is mentioned (as " certain woman with a blue chunk") in a critical article about the love lives of leading Salem cougars.

Will is badly battered by sequential rants after he mentions both Eve and Jennifer in an article bemoaning annoying, interfering Salem parents.

Roman has a fit after Will writes an article pointedly asking why there are so many muggers and drug dealers in Salem Park and the Town Square.

Sonny gives Will the cold shoulder after his candid review of the scene at Salem clubs and bars rates Friday and Saturday nights at Club Inferno as the best in town.

The Forest Preserve Bear is very unhappy about Will's article that urges Salemites to better secure their dumpsters and garbage cans.

The bear after reading Will's article
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Hoping to rev up viewer excitement about the new Chad, TPTB release some juicy spoilers.

NuChad uses his changed appearance to lurk in Club TBD to see if Abigail still has feelings for him.

NuChad consults with Philip Kiriakis about how to manage a return to Salem with a totally different face.

Hoping to fit in among Salem's good citizens, NuChad memorizes Marlena's list of ten reasons to hate Kristen.

NuChad realizes that he's really out of the loop when people react strangely to his questions about how Nick Fallon is doing.
 
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