Titan TV Interviews

Reply from Sami Brady: What a stoopid loser. Doesn't even have the decency to apologize to me for kidnapping me and holding me hostage.

Reply from Titan interviewer: Did you apologize for shooting EJ DiMera in the head? Kidnapping your infant sister and trying to sell her on the black market?

Reply from Sami: Did that doodyhead John Black ever apologize to me for ruining my life when he had sex with mom on the Titan conference room table???

Reply from Titan interviewer: OK, well, that's all the time we have. Join us next time for another fascinating Titan TV interview, folks!
 
Titan TV has managed to get an interview with Steve.

Q: First of all, do you really need that patch or is it just for show?
A: No comment, but if you check out my photos that are posted online, you’ll have your answer.

Q: What’s going on with your partner, John Black?
A: He’s off to Greece — something related to the Konstantin affair. Hopefully, I won’t have to bail him out.

Q: How does your wife, Kayla, deal with your risky missions and sudden absences?
A: Sweetness is the best. She puts up with a lot, but she always stands behind me.

Q: Were you really once a tool of Stefano DiMera?
A; Sadly, yes, but that could happen to anyone in this town. Just ask around.

Q: How’s your son doing in Hong Kong?
A: Great, and I don’t have to worry about him getting involved in typical Salem crises.

Q: Did you really once buy pizzas for your fellow patients with the attendant’s credit card while in a medical facility?
A: Sure did. And those were great pizzas too.

Q: Finally, what’s your take on Salem today?
A: Same old, same old. A lot of people thought that things would change when Stefano died, but of course they didn’t. There are always evil-minded trouble makers turning up in this town.
 
Titan TV was able to get an quick interview with Gwennie T. as she fled town.

Q: Did you really think your scheme to change Victor’s will would work?
A: Why not? People are always plotting in this town. Why not me? As the old saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Q: What’s the status of your marriage to Alex?
A: Who cares? If he doesn’t have Victor’s billions, there’s no point to the whole thing.

Q: How could you steal his inheritance from Xander?
A: Why not? Hasn’t he put people in cages and crawl spaces? Besides, didn’t he just win a pile of money in the British Open?

Q: Didn’t you know that was golfer Xander Schauffele?
A: Oops. I can’t keep all these Xanders straight.

Q: Are you still concerned about your son, Tater Tot, and Holly Jonas?
A: Are you kidding? I’ve got a lot more to worry about now than a teen romance.

Q: What are your future plans?
A: Plans? First I have to figure out if I have a future.
 
Titan TV grabs a quick interview with Gwennie T. as she hurries out of Salem.

Q: Any comment on your joining with Konstantin to cheat Xander out of his inheritance?
A: Let’s just say that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Q: Are you concerned that your actions might cause you legal trouble?
A: Not at all. Rafe Hernandez is in a coma and Detective Hunter is obsessed with that weirdo, Bobby/Everett.

Q: Any regrets on leaving Salem?
A: Not really. If I have any regrets, it’s that I didn’t leave sooner.

Q: Are you worried about your son, Tate, when you’re gone?
A: Not at all. The kid never listened to me anyway. Brady will look out for him, assuming he stays sober.

Q: What about your marriage to Alex Kiriakis?
A: It’s done, kaput. If he doesn’t have Victor’s money, there’s no point to it.

Q: Finally, did people ever mention your resemblance to Gwen Rizczech?
A: All the time. I got really sick of it. I prefer to think that she looks like me.
 
Xander has graciously granted an interview to Titan TV.

Q: How does it feel to be a married man?
A: Marvelous, mate. My life is now complete.

Q: Do you feel up to running Titan?
A: Sure thing. I’ve done the job before. Besides, if Brady, Alex, and Sonny Boy can do the job, I certainly can.

Q: Will you be hiring a special assistant?
A: It’s on the table, but it’s a shame my old pal Charlie Dale is no longer with us.

Q: Might you consider columnist Leo Stark?
A: Surely you jest. Leo should stick to scandalmongering for the Spectator.

Q: Would you consider hiring your relatives?
A: Alex is a possibility if he can keep his pants on. Brady is out. He’s really gone off the rails. He’s reportedly back on the bottle and is actually trying to keep his son away from his little girlfriend. Unbelievable.

Q: Do you see DiMera as a threat?
A: No way, no how. With the likes of Kristen in charge and EJ looking for revenge, that place is a joke.

Q: Will you have time to work out now that you’re CEO?
A: Certainly. I’m having an executive gym put in next to my office. Without my muscular physique, I just wouldn’t be Xander.
 
Against Justin’s advice, Brady has granted an interview to Titan TV.

Q: Let’s get to the point. Were you driving the car that ran down Sarah?
A: Yes, of course.

Q: How do you know?
A: I just do. I’m a bad person. I’m very bad, very bad.

Q: What makes you say that?
A: Well, for one, I woke up in the driver’s seat. That means there’s no doubt I did it. No doubt, no doubt.

Q: How do you know somebody didn’t put you there to cover-up their own culpability? Stuff like that happens in Salem.
A: That didn’t happen. No way. When I’m dead drunk, I’m an immovable object.

Q: How do you know?
A: I just do.

Q: How do you feel about being released with no charges filed?
A: Terrible. I deserve to be in jail.

Q: How did you feel when Xander threatened you with a baseball bat?
A: Calm acceptance. I deserve to have my head bashed in.

Q: What about your children, Rachel and Tater Tot?
A: They’ll be better off without me. Tate would be free to fool around with his hot girlfriend and Kristen will spoil Rachel rotten.

Q: Isn’t there a some chance that you’ll be proven innocent?
A: No way. There is no Easter Bunny or if there is, he never comes to Salem. Parents have to buy their kids Easter candy.
 
Somewhere in Salem, this is Justin while watching the interview:

facepalm-really.gif
 
Titan TV has caught up with angry Xander.

Q: Is it true that you want to take violent action against Brady Black because you think he ran down Sarah?
A: You bet. It’s what that blighter deserves.

Q: How do you know Brady did it?
A: I just knew. Besides, now Sarah says she remembers.

Q: How do you know that Brady isn’t the victim of a frame-up?
A: Oh please. Who would bother? Fiona? Leo Stark? What nonsense.

Q: Aren’t you worried that taking revenge on Brady could land you in jail?
A: No way. Prison doesn’t scare me.

Q: What if while you’re away Sarah takes up Eric Brady after he inevitably divorces Nicole Walker?
A: Bloody hell. I hadn’t thought of that.

Q: You do know that Eric’s sad look makes him irresistible to women?
A: Bloody hell. That’s true. Thanks mate. I’m going to make big changes to my approach to the Brady problem.
 
Titan TV has obtained an interview with Abe.

Q: What made you try producing a soap?
A: After I lost my mayor’s position, I needed something to do.

Q: Why do you think people will watch a revival with an all amateur cast?
A: Why not? Have you seen what soaps are like lately?

Q: What makes you think Johnny DiMera can direct?
A: It’s either that or work for his father, EJ. That’s a lot of motivation.

Q: How do you think gossip columnist Leo Stark will do as head writer?
A: Pretty good. Have you seen how he dresses? This guy has quite an imagination.

Q: What are you doing for sets?
A: We’ve got the Pub and the Town Square, and for love scenes, we can use my bedroom. That should cover it.

Q: How are your cast members getting along?
A: We’ve already got one nasty rivalry. That makes us a real soap, wouldn’t you say?

Q: How are you doing for sponsors?
A: We’re off to a good start. We've got Wanchai Ferry, the Pub, and the Salem cemetery.

Q: Finally, have you filled all your cast positions?
A: Almost — are you interested?
 
Titan TV has tracked down Chad’s ex-father, former Salem D.A. Charles Woods.

Q: Have you heard that your ex-son, Chad DiMera, just married a fraudster who claimed to be his dead wife, Abigail?
A: Sure did. It’s typical Chad — always making bad choices.

Q: Would you care to elaborate?
A: Back in high school he got his girlfriend pregnant. Later, Stefano offered to pay his way at a top school, Wake Forest, but he didn’t go. Instead, he turned into a second-string DiMera, sitting on the sidelines while Stefano, EJ, Andre, and Kristen did their worst.

Q: What’s your take on EJ as district attorney?
A: Don’t get me started. This slimeball uses the position for his own nefarious ends. Just ask that poor dope, Brady Black.

Q: What about Mayor Price?
A: She should lose her job for making EJ district attorney. Talk about letting the fox into the hen house.

Q: What’s it like being Salem D.A.?
A: It’s a hopeless job. The cops can’t catch a cold and nobody named DiMera or Kiriakis will ever be convicted of anything

Q: Have any of you successors done a decent job?
A: That guy with the weird son and the dead bird friend was pretty good, but then the DiMeras got their hooks into him.

Q: Are you planning to watch the new “Body and Soul?”
A; Surely you jest.

Q: Finally, What are you doing these days?
A: Managing my investments, playing golf, and traveling. Any time away from Salem is well spent.
 
Titan TV has snagged a quick interview with Xander.

Q: Do you still plan to give Titan to Kristen DiMera?
A: Sure thing. Nothing is more important than a cure for Sarah.

Q: How can you give away Victor’s life’s work?
A: Victor’s life is over. What does it matter?

Q: Is Sarah supporting your plan?
A: Uh, no.

Q: Wouldn’t Maggie be out on the street if Kristen gets the K-Mansion?
A: No way. She’s so popular that people would be begging to take her in.

Q: Have you ever thought of stealing the serum from Kristen?
A: Gee, no.

Q: How about threatening Kristen with death or severe bodily harm if she doesn’t give you the serum?
A: That’s a great idea too. Would you like to come and work for me?
 
With B&S close to its debut, Titan TV again in interviews Abe.

Q: What’s been the best part of your B&S experience?
A: I’m getting to give orders again. I’ve missed that.

Q: How are things going?
A: I’d say that I’ve made nothing out of nothing.

Q: Do any of your actors have any talent?
A: We have one who can sort of sing.

Q: Will B&S have hot love scenes?
A: Uh no. For that we’d need hot cast members.

Q: Has there been conflict on the show?
A: I guess — the director and his actor wife seemed to be on the verge of a break-up.

Q: Will B&S fans watch their show with an all-new, amateur cast?
A: Maybe, out of morbid curiosity.

Q: Finally, do you expect the new B&S to last?
A: Let’s just say that I’m checking the Spectator want ads.
 
Reply from Sami Brady: Wait, there's a new soap opera being produced in Salem?? Why hasn't anybody told me about it? I could be on there as the biggest star, the queen of the show. You're so stoopid, I'd make this show a huge hit! They'd just have to change the name from Body and Soul to The Sami Brady Show. Call me, Abe!!

Reply from Abe: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
Titan TV has wasted no time getting an interview with Javi.

Q: How do you like Salem?
A: People like to dump on this town, but it seems great to me. Because I’m related to Rafe and Gabi, I don’t have to pay for my meals at the Pub.

Q: Rumor has it that you’ve started a relationship with writer Leo Stark. Any comment?
A: Let’s just say that we’re in a warm relationship — very warm.

Q: It’s been reported that you’re showing up late for the job Gabi gave you. Is that true?
A: Oh please, it’s not how much time you spend at your job, but the quality of your work while there.

Q: Any comment on Gabi’s troubled personal life?
A: Her life has always been a mess — one strange turn after another. I wouldn’t be surprised if she next took up with that idiot, EJ DiMera.

Q: Are you the person who leaked spoilers about all the upcoming B&S episodes?
A: No comment, but whoever did it performed a public service.

Q: What do you mean?
A: B&S is an all-amateur farce. People should be warned before they waste their valuable time watching it.

Q: What’s your take on the tainted cupcake mystery?
A: I don’t mean to unkind, but I’d rather see Abe and the cast barfing in the bathroom than making a faux soap.

Q: Finally, how is Rafe getting along?
A: How do you think — he comes out of a coma and is told he’s been demoted. If Leo and I decide to team up on Mayor Price, she’ll be political toast! We’re with Rafe!
 
Titan TV has snagged a quick interview with Doug III.

Q: What brings you to Salem?
A: When I heard that Doug I has passed away, I thought it would be bad manners not to make an appearance.

Q: Why haven’t you been in town before?
A; Let’s just say I was unavoidably detained.

Q: In fact, weren’t you in prison?
A: The whole thing was a miscarriage of justice if you know what I mean.

Q: What were you in for?
A: Absolutely no comment.

Q; Do you see any opportunities for yourself in Salem?
A: I’m always open to new acquisitions.

Q: Any chance for romance?
A: Any woman married to a callow rich kid or who is dating the local Romeo will now have a chance for the real thing. And I do mean real.

Q: Finally, do you want to be like Doug I?
A: Not to be unkind, but if you mean being married to the local busybody and always going on cruises — not a chance
 
Titan TV’s roving reporter talks to Salemites about the shooting of Clyde.

EJ: Great news. I wish I’d done it myself.

Ben: Dad can only blame himself. Sooner or later one of his sick plots was going to blow up in his face.

Charles Woods: Little Chad was messing with Clyde Weston? He’s lucky that he wasn’t the one to get shot.

Rafe: Clyde should have stayed in his cozy cell.

Jada: Why do civilians keep messing with dangerous criminals? That’s why we have a police force.

Poplar Bluff mayor: Good riddance, he was a disgrace to our fine community.

Leo: Who cares about Clyde? I must get Javi back (sob).

Roman: This is good news. That’s a fact. Free beers for all Pub customers.

Kate: Who told you I once had a relationship with Clyde? That’s just a very ugly rumor.
 
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