Random Thoughts of Salemites, Part 6

Salemites ponder recent events at the K-Mansion.

Alex: What rotten luck. Xander got to play the hero, not me.

Xander: That Konstantin was such a creep, I wish I could have killed him twice.

Leo: What a story for my column: Handsome hunk shoots creepy grifter at faux wedding. I must tell Dimitri.

Rafe: John and Steve both had Konstantin covered and still Steve was shot. Those guys should consider retirement.

Steve: I had Konstantin dead to rights and he still shot me. I must be slipping.

Theresa: Thank goodness Konstantin is dead. My dirty secret is safe — I hope.

Baby Victoria: Yay, my Daddy is a hero, but what a weird world I was born into.

John: What happened? I’m still dazed and confused thanks to that card.

Ghost Victor: I was right. Xander is a true Kiriakis.
 
Eric: I’m so depressed. I’m so depressed, I’m so depressed.

EJ: If I don’t make Stefan happy, he’ll reveal the Jude secret, but pleasing him could offend Melinda who’ll do the same thing. How do I get in these messes?

Kate: Why couldn’t Lucas have stayed in Salem with his loving mother?

Tate: Mom is an idiot. The way adults conduct themselves in this town, what’s the big deal about teens kissing?

Holly: If only Mom had once been in love, then she’d know how I feel about Tate.

Rafe: To be honest, I’m not too thrilled about Gabi’s release from prison. What kind of trouble is she going to get into now?

Jett & Jeremy: Why are people so interested in a dork like Everett/Bobby? He’s just a bad imitation of nerdy Nick Fallon.

Emu: Now that Gabi is out, I hope that Mr. Mustache won’t forget his real friend, me.

Xander: Konstantin is gone and all is well with Sarah and Victoria. I wonder if any more good fortune is headed my way.

Alex: I can’t do any better than marrying Jeannie, right? Right?
 
Brady: I'm so smart to come up with the plan to send Tate away to camp.

Jeannie T: Brady is so smart to come up with the plan to get Tate out of town and away from that wretched brat Holly.

Tate: I'm so smart to come up with the plan for Aaron to take my place at camp. What could possibly go wrong??

Holly: Tate is so smart to come up with his plan for us to be together. This is gonna be the best summer ever!

Rachel: Daddy, Theresa, Tate and Holly are so stupid, period.
 
Aaron: Wow, I’m on my way to a great scholarship. Duke University here I come. Thanks Tate.

Nicole: Thanks to Brady for his brilliant plan to keep Holly away from Tate. I don’t want her to grow up to be like my wretched sister, Taylor.

Gwennie T.: Ha, as soon as we’re married, I’ll get Alex to get rid of that dumb prenup.

Maggie: Xander is such a fine young man. If only he was Victor’s heir, not that dunce Alex.

Xander: Who needs Victor’s millions when I have my wonderful wife and child.

Holly: Things are finally going my way. A whole summer of smooching Tate on the sly. What could be better?
 
Reply from Roman: What da hell — nonsense about bad chowder??!! How about a plot about a loud, incompetent mayor and her ineffectual wuss of a husband.

Reply: Holly what’s this talk about infused formulas? Have you been talking to Rolf? Better you hang out with Tate than with that monster.

Reply from Sami: OMG, people used to blame me for half of Salem’s problems, but it’s clear that the place has gone way downhill since I left.
 
John: Is this Greek trip a fool’s errand?

Tate: I love the cabin. I didn’t know it came with cute raccoons.

Aaron: I’m really upping my lacrosse game. Duke University here I come. Thanks Tate.

Brady: I need another drink.

Kate: Body & Soul is so dumb. How did I get into this mess?

Ghost Stefano: Elvis is such a fool. How many times did I tell him to always watch his back?

Xander: OMG, I’m now fabulously wealthy. Why am I not more excited?

Sarah: I’d never say it, but Xander’s mom has no class.

Gwennie T.: Oh well, back to square one.

Johnny: Forget being a director. What I want to be is an Olympic athlete Iike the ones on TV.
 
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EJ: There’s something fishy about this Abigail. Do we have an imposter on our hands?

Roman: Why do people object to my hiring Ava? Am I missing something??

Stefan Zero: I must be losing my touch. My best groveling act had no effect on Gabi.

Li: It’s nice to be back, but Salem is a little weird for me, especially Connie. What a weirdo!

Fake Abigail: What am I doing here? All these DiMeras are out of their minds.

Brady: I’m confessing to running down Sarah. Who cares if there’s no evidence? I must be guilty.

Tater Tot: I really like the cabin, especially the cute raccoons. They’re my pals. They love the EJ chow that I give them.

Paulina: It’s fun helping Jada. I could be a regular mayor-detective.

Kayla: OMG, with Sarah injured, we’re really short-staffed. Where’s Dr. Marcus Welby when you need him?
 
Xander: Could it be that Brady is innocent after all? Is somebody messing with my head?

EJ: Could Sarah be lying about Brady’s guilt? No way. She’s a sanctimonious Horton. They never lie.

Fiona: It’s hard living with a lie, but it’s better than the alternative.

Eric: I just know Xander is up to something. I didn’t read all of Sami’s Nancy Drew books for nothing.

Maggie: Poor Xander is so worked up lately. Maybe, he’d feel better if I had a cardboard Charlie Dale made up for him.

Abe: I wonder if casting egotistical Salemites for my soap is a mistake?

Leo: I must admit that I look really great in my red silk jammies and leopard robe. Dimitri would swoon.

Nicole: Oh joy. We just get to Paris and Eric goes running back to Salem to bail out Brady.

Connie: I’m so worried about cardboard Li. Where could he be?

Kristen: If only Father’s portrait could speak. He’d know just how to save Brady.
 
Clyde: What was I thinking — using the idiot doc and his clueless sister in my plot to get Titan money?

Sami: Eric the hero in the Holly mess? I can’t stand it.

Shaggy Phil: Now I’m the tool for my scheming mother — when will I ever catch a break?

Abe: I hate to admit it, B&S is awful.

Kate: Yes, B&S stinks, but it beats shucking clams.

Johnny: Directing is no fun. Dad was right — the family company is the place for me.

Tate: Sorry Holly, but Sophia is hot in bed.

Rafe: I wonder if Mami will take Javi back. He looks like a loser to me.

Connie: I’m so lonesome without Cardboard Li.

Ghost Victor: OMG, now Xander wants to give away Titan just to help Sarah. All my sons and nephews are total idiots.
 
EJ: What’s wrong with Johnny? Doesn’t he realize that cheating is no big deal?

Javier: Leo is so hot that it’s worth pretending that the awful B&S is a good show.

Joy: Chloe is right, Salem is a problem place. I’ve only been here a short time and already I’ve slept with a married man.

Rafe: What’s wrong with Paulina? Who greets a person who’s just come out of a coma with the news that they’ve been demoted?

Steve: Maybe Rafe would like to join Black Patch. The hours are great, the pay is good, and you can pick your own cases.

Clyde: I just knew the Abigail plot would fail. You just can’t get good help anymore.

JJ: What’s wrong with Chad — defending that fake Abigail? This town is weirder than I remembered.
 
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