Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 29

Salemites react to the news that Everett punched Eric.

Tweet by Roman: What da hell? Why would that dork punch harmless Eric?

Reply from Xander: I’d enjoy a good laugh over the Fallen Father Eric being decked by the likes of Everett, but I’ll stifle myself so Sarah won’t be offended.

Reply from Sami: I love it. The Bad Twin getting flattened by that loser Everett. I wish I’d been there to see it.

Reply by Jett and Jeremy: Maybe we should return to Salem. We know how to keep nerds like Everett in their proper place.

Reply from Rafe: Oh great, now the friends of Eric will want me to treat this like the crime of the century.

Reply from Leo: Thank God. Now I have a great topic for my column.

Reply rom Chad: Hmmm, this reminds me we of the time I beat the snot out of Nick Fallon.

Reply from Sloan: This shows I’m right to say EJ is Jude’s father. If Eric can’t protect himself from Everett, how will ne ever be able to protect the baby from the cold, cruel world?
 
DrBakerFan said:
Reply from Sami: I love it. The Bad Twin getting flattened by that loser Everett. I wish I’d been there to see it.
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Reply from Marlena: Samantha Gene! Stop being so unkind towards your twin brother. What happened was terrible and we need to support Eric.

Reply from Sami: Big whoop, so he got punched. I was once literally executed. I didn't see you making a big deal out of that.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, I have my hands full right now, can we continue this later?

Reply from Sami: What has the life-ruining doody-head done now??

Reply from Carrie: Sami, don't you have some DNA test results to change or something?

Reply from Belle: Or a baby to kidnap and try to sell on the black market?

[Sloan feeling very uncomfortable while reading Carrie and Belle's replies]
 
Facebook post from Jude: What the blazes is going on?? I definitely like this Mommy Nicole lady better than stupid Mommy Sloan. But does this mean I'm half British now?!! Ehhh, at least the British guy doesn't scowl all the time like Daddy Eric. Although I am rather fond of the Grandpa Roman guy.

Reply from Sydney: Oh, I can tell you Mommy Nicole is WAY better than my mom.

Reply from Sami: Excuse me, young lady??? How dare you say that?? You are grounded, forever! Stoopid kid, thinking that trampy Syndnapper is better than me, Salem's greatest mother of all time.

Reply from Marlena: What's going on here?? Did we miss something????

Reply from Sami: Ha! Someone stole Nicole's baby! That's freakin' hilarious! You know, if Eric showed me more respect, I could've made sure the DNA test showed him to be Jude's real dad.

Reply from Sloan: Ummmm, about that... [cut off]

Reply from EJ: What was that, Sloan????

Reply from Sloan: Nothing, never mind. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Reply from EJ: That's what I thought. Now everybody can congratulate Nicole and I on *OUR* son, little Elvis Jr. Jr.

Reply from Susan: Hmmmmm, something doesn't seem right here.

Reply from EJ: Motha, your little "something extra" seems to be off. Of course little Elvis Jr. Jr. is our son. Perhaps you should go visit Graceland or something with Roger. As the matter of fact, I'll call down there and arrange a private tour. You'd like that, right?

Reply from Susan: Oh Elvis! That would be wonderful! But why do I feel like you're trying to distract me??

Reply from EJ: Of course not, Motha. Well, gotta run, talk later. Enjoy the tour! Bye! [whew]
 
Reply from Roger the Elvis Impersonator: Thanks a lot Elvis. Just what I wanted to do, hump down to Memphis so Susan can gawk at Graceland.

Reply from EJ: Roger, I’m surprised at your attitude. I thought you’d jump at the chance to see Graceland.

Reply from Roger: Been there, done that. I need to spend my time in Vegas making good bucks impersonating the King.

Reply from Will: Roger, what would EJ know about making an honest living?

Reply from Stefan O: What does EJ know about anything that isn’t underhanded?

Reply from Rafe: Not much. I can assure you.
 
Facebook post from Arianna Grace to Sonny and Will: I thought you said mommy was in Mexico visiting GrandMami and Poppy??

Reply from Sonny and Will: Ummmm... we got nothin', kid. [shrugs]

Reply from Rafe: I'm with you on that one. A trial? When? Where?? Can someone tell me what's going on here??

Reply from Ron Carlivati: Hey, none of this is on me! I'm just sayin'
 
Reply from Sami: A new trial for Gabi? What a joke. She’s guilty as sin. She comes from a whole family of dirty criminals. My Rafe is the only honest one.

Reply from Eric: Don’t worry Arianna Grace, we’re all praying that your dear mother will be freed.

Reply from Sami: Stifle yourself Bad Twin. Nobody hears your stoopid prayers. If they did, little Elvis Jr. Jr. would still be your son and you’d be married to the trampy, trashy babyswitcher, not slimy shyster Sloan.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, please be kind. poor Eric is hurting right now.

Reply from Sami: Oh Mom, he’s always hurting. By the way, I heard that cheap gold digger, doodyhead Bonnie, is back in Victor’s mansion. Henderson should put her out with the trash.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, that’s enough.

Reply from Will: Forget it, grandma. When Mom’s on a roll there’s no stopping her.
 
Facebook post from Jeannie T: Thank God Konstantin died before he outed me.

Reply from Alex: Outed you? Outed you for what??

Reply from Jeannie T: Uhhhhh, just a figure of speech. I meant outed, as in killed. Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. You know I'm half British and sometimes mix up my words. Like lift and elevator, or petrol and gas. Outed, killed, same thing. [whew]

Reply from Brady: I've never heard you use British words for American words.

Reply from Jeannie T: Shut up, it's a thing! I always do it because of my dad.

Reply from Andrew: No you don't.

Reply from Jeannie T: Bloody hell, you tosser! See, I just did it.

Reply from Andrew: Yeah, OK. By the way, don't you have anything else you want to add to this post???

Reply from Jeannie T: Nope, nothing, not a thing. Gotta run. Ta-ta! [stupid know-it-all brother]
 
Reply from Sami: OMG, things have really gone downhill in Salem since I left. Now the place is full of people who don’t speak proper English — Konstantin with his awful accent and that stoopid Jeannie T. tossing around Britishisms trying to look sophisticated.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, please. Try to be nicer about people who don’t speak American English.

Reply from Sami: I am so tolerant. I never said anything about life-ruiner John Black’s fumbling attempts to speak after coming out of one of his comas.

Reply from Marlena: That’s enough, Sami.

Reply from Will: Sigh.
 
Just Samantha said:
Reply from Jeannie T: Nope, nothing, not a thing. Gotta run. Ta-ta! [stupid know-it-all brother]
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Reply from Sami: By the way, Jeannie, I know what it's like to have a know-it-all brother. I have one. Ugh. Just be thankful he's not a twin.

Reply from Rex: Ah-hem, you have TWO brothers.

Reply from Sami: Shut up, you stoopid lab rat. You're not my brother. You're a freak of nature, cooked up in a DiMera lab. You and that other lab rat.

Reply from Marlena: Samantha Gene, that's enough! Your father and Kate love Rex and Cassie very much, and they're as much your siblings as the others.

Reply from Sami: OK, big whoop, mom. I hate all of them, so doesn't really matter. I'm the greatest child you and daddy ever had, and that's that!

Reply from Carrie: Hilarious!

Reply from Belle: Right??

Reply from Cassie: Lab rat?? Who are you calling a lab rat, you bubble-headed moron?? You don't even know how many kids you have or what their names are.

Reply from Brady: Glad I'm just a step-brother.

Reply from Paul: Me too.

Reply from Austin: I like to forget we're now step-siblings, as well as in-laws.

Reply from Billie: I don't even pay attention to that annoying little flea.

Reply from Philip: She makes me glad I'm hiding out.

Reply from Lucas: I hear that, brother.

Reply from Leo: Wish I was one of Sami's brothers. I'd love the hell out of her!

Reply from Sami: See, at least this Leo knows how to appreciate greatness! By the way Cassie, I have five kids: Tommy, Addie, Bill, Mickey and Marie, so there! Who's the bubble-headed moron, now??
 
Facebook post from Julie to Marlena: Marlena darling, was Sami dropped on her head as a baby? For the life of me, I can't understand how people as lovely as you and Roman created such a hateful child. Your other children are all perfectly charming individuals.

Reply from Sami: Excuse me?? Hateful child?? What about your stoopid "Darling Nicky"??? How did that monstrosity come to be? Aren't your cousin and her husband nice people? Yet you sing his praises all.the.time! He was a rotten turd who got what he deserved. By the way, while I'm at it, the square in town should be named after me, Salem's greatest citizen of all time, and not a couple of moldy old Hortons.

Reply from Julie: I swear to God, Marlena, I'm going to throttle your daughter.

Reply from Marlena: Go ahead, she has it coming.

Reply from John: That's a fact!

Reply from Roman: Be our guest.

Reply from Kate: You'd be doing us all a favor.

Reply from Carrie, Eric, Belle, Cassie, Rex, Brady, Paul, Austin, Billie, Lucas and Philip: Go, Julie! Go, Julie! Get her! We'll hold her down!

Reply from Timothy: Dear Lord, what kind of family have I stumbled into?? Might've been better off as an amnesiac.
 
Reply from Sami: Bring it on you bunch of losers. I’ll mop the floor with you. When I was married to Rafe, he taught me some martial arts.

Reply from Carrie: Give it up, Sami. You couldn’t fight your way out of a Sweet Bits box.

Reply from Sami: Oh go find a lost cat. By the way, you should quit panting for Rafe. He never thinks of you. How’s that for a big meow?

Reply from Belle: You’re the one, Rafe has flushed from his memory, Sami.

Reply from Sami: Stuff it, dumb Belle. Doesn’t your loser husband, the faux cop, need help again?

Reply from Brady: C’mon Sami, let’s tone it down here.

Reply from Sami: Butt out, Brady. I hear you just stood around while stoopid Konstantin threatened to put trashy, trampy Jeannie Theresa out of her misery.

Reply from Leo: This is great stuff for my column. How about an interview, Sami?

Reply from Sami: Anytime big boy. I can tell you things that will have your readers’ hair standing on end.
 
Facebook post from Rachel to Sami: Hey, Auntie Sami, I overheard some juicy plans and could blow up some lives. Should I do it??

Reply from Sami: Depends on who is involved. It's not me, is it?

Reply from Rachel: No, it's my dorky brother and step-cousin, Holly.

Reply from Sami: Trampy Sydnapper Nicole's daughter??? Oh yeah, do it! If she's trampy Nicole's daughter, she's probably as trashy as her mother and deserves to have her life blown up. As far as your brother, let him be collateral damage.

Reply from Rachel: Thanks Auntie Sami! I knew you'd know the right thing to do.

Reply from Sami: No problem kid! You may be witchy Kristen's daughter, but if you're coming to me for advice and looking up to me, you're A-OK in my book. Next time I'm in Salem I'll show you how to change DNA test results.
 
Reply from Eric: Sami, what are you doing — encouraging a mere child to bring misery to others.

Reply from Sami: Stuff it, Bad Twin. With your track record, you’ve got no business criticizing me. By the way, how’s Sloan?

Reply from Eric: [Sob.]

Reply from Marlena: Sami, please don’t get on Eric’s case. He’s in a bad way.

Reply from Will: By now, people should know not to verbally cross Mom.

Reply from Marlena: How true, how true.

Reply from Will: [sigh].
 
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Facebook post from Stefan's mustache: So when will this Dr. Rolf guy come and resurrect me??

Reply from Arnold Finnegar's ghost (Fake Rafe): Don't hold your breath. Nobody liked you, so you'll probably stay dead.

Reply from Charlie Dale's ghost: Now hang on there, Arnie. You never know when Satan will return to Salem, resurrect you from the grave and take possession.

Reply from Nick Fallon's ghost: Yeah, what Charlie said.

Reply from Gil's ghost: Wait, so there's a chance I can come back?

Reply from Jake's ghost: Me too??

Reply from Summer the psycho mermaid's ghost: Yeah, I'm tired of hanging around here. I want to be where the people are.

Reply from Lexie's ghost: Would all of you shut up???? I'm trying to get some much deserved rest here in the afterlife. Bad enough I had to go save my beloved Abraham's loudmouth new wife, but now I have to listen to you whiners?? Stuff a sock in it!
 
Reply from ghost Stefano: Silence, the lot of you. Accept your fates like any true DiMera would do —- with stoic silence.

Reply from ghost Victor: I’ve got to agree with you Phoenix, although I’d love to straighten out the men in my family. Only Xander is a true Kiriakis.

Reply from ghost Dad Brady: I’m with you gentlemen, but I’d love to give Roman a swift kick in the butt for actually hiring my murderer, Ava, at the Pub. To borrow one of his pet lines, what da hell was he thinking??

Reply from ghost Stefano: We’ll just have to face facts. The younger generation isn’t made of the same stern stuff as we were.
 
Facebook post from Will to Sami: Mom, did you hear the news, Nicole has left EJ!

Reply from Sami: Poor smoochy-moochy — he loses again in the game of love. And he was actually dumped by a trampy, trashy babyswitcher.

Reply from Will: And it turns out that Eric is Baby Jude’s real father, not EJ.

Reply from Sami: Oh that poor child. Imagine going through life having to admit that he’s Eric’s son.

Reply from Marlena: Samantha Gene, be nice. Any child would be proud to have Eric for a father.

Reply from Sami: Yeah maybe, but the kid still has a trampy babyswitching Sydnapper for a mother.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, stop. There’s no need to be unkind.

Reply from Will: [sigh].

Reply from Sonny: Never a dull moment in Will’s family. They make us Kiriakises seem almost normal.
 
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Reply from Leo: Why won't anybody listen to me?? This girl needs her own reality show on Peacock! [wink] It can be called Snarking With Sami! I can be her fun sidekick.

Reply from Sami: Finally, someone in Salem who understands how amazing, funny, real and truly radiant I am!

Reply from Marlena: Leo, don't encourage her. Plus, if you think Sami is amazing, we really need to increase your sessions each week.
 
Reply from Leo: Sorry, Lady Doc, you’re too close to the situation to judge properly, but I, the master of passion, can view Sami dispassionately and see her many talents.

Reply from Marlena: Gasp!

Reply from Eric: Nooooo way!

Reply from Will: OMG!

Reply from Sonny: You have to admit, Leo may live in cloud cuckoo land, but he is an original thinker.
 
Facebook post from Holly and the Tot: What gives? We haven’t heard anything from our parents? Has some disaster occurred? Did the tunnels explode again?

Reply from Smith Islanders: Ahh, Salem obliterated? No more annoying visitors — priceless.

Reply from Sarah: Relax, Tate. Your misguided mother is fleeing town after her evil plot to steal my Xander’s inheritance was exposed. You’ll hear from her eventually.

Reply from Paul: Hey Tate, don’t worry. Your dad is OK, sort of. He’s drowned himself in Pub martinis, but I’ll get him sobered up even if I have to dunk him in an ice bath. I’ll keep you posted.

Reply from Maggie: Holly dear, don’t worry about your mom. She’s been busy dumping that wretch, EJ, and planning a new life with Eric and Baby Jude.

Reply from Tate: OK, good. We do care about our parents despite their completely wrongheaded ideas about our relationship.
 
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