Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 27

Sami: Just quick note to let everyone know that my grandchild, Baby Boy Horton, is sooo happy here with me. He just coos all the time.

Reply from BBH: I wasn't cooing. I was spitting up, which is what most people do when they see my Granny Sami.

Reply from Sami: Never mind anything that comes out of BBH's mouth. His mind was poisoned by the horrid babyswitcher, Nicole.

Reply from BBH: I love Mommy Nicole.

Reply from Sami: Oh hush. It's time for you to go stay with Great-Grandfather Roman at his Pub. You'll just love love it. All your uncles and aunts practically grew up there. It's sooo much fun.

Reply from Roman: What da hell? Sami, the Pub child-care service ended when Ma passed away.

Reply from Sami: She did? Don't worry little BBH. Your Uncle Xander and Butler Henderson over at the K-mansion would just love to see you.
 
Facebook post from Sami: Ugh, I went to see that stoopid, life-ruining doodyhead, John Black, took him a nice cactus plant and he yelled at me. He actually threw the plant at the wall, probably wanting to hit me with it, then called me the "B-word". Can you believe that jerk??? What have I ever done to him?? He should've been comforted by my amazing presence.

Reply from Nicole: Go John!!

Reply from Lucas: :clap: :clap:

Reply from Eric: About time.

Reply from Carrie: Good.

Reply from Belle: Finally.

Reply from Paul: You deserved it.

Reply from Brady: Gotta agree with my sibs here.

Reply from Will: Whose fault was that????

Reply from Marlena: Can't say I blame him, Samantha Gene.

Reply from Roman: Sami, you really bring this on yourself.

Reply from Sami: I HATE ALL OF YOU!!

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Reply from Baby Boy Horton: Won't somebody save me from this mad woman?

Reply from Johnny and Sydney: How about somebody saving us?

Reply from Judge Rose Duncan: Sami had what thrown at her by whom? I think it may be time for a new hearing to reconsider the custody issue.

Reply from Jan Spears: Sorry Sami, even I can't back you on this one.

Reply from Victor: Poor John, always taking half measures. I'd have thrown a hand grenade at her.

Reply from Xander: Is that cactus still available? I'd like to throw it at Philip.
 
Facebook post from Sydney to Sami: Mom, since Allie is going to live with Mommy Nicole, can I go live with Mommy Nicole, too?? At least she cared enough to take care of me and not plop me at the pub to eat Wanchai Ferry every day.
 
Reply from Sami: Grrr, how can my children be so ungrateful? Tell me Miss Sydney, just what's so bad about Wanchai Ferry? It's tasty Chinese food that's far better than anything at the Salem Chop Suey Palace. I'll have you know that your sainted Great-Grandma Caroline liked it so much that she went on the record about how good it was. And what was so bad about being at the Pub? It was educational. How many children got to hear their grandfather repeatedly say "What da hell?" as he dealt with unfortunate Salemites who were drinking their troubles away? "Mommy" Nicole would have just kept you cooped up in her pokey apartment as she jumped from one unsuitable man after another.
 
Reply from Grandpa Lucas: Hey HLH, happy to hear the good news about your diaper. And don't worry about Granny Sami. She has the attention span of a gnat (they're tiny little flying bugs that can be almost as annoying as some Salemites I could mention) so by the time she next comes to town, she may have completely forgotten about you, Mommy Nicole, or that she even has a daughter named Allie.
 
Facebook post from the unborn Grant twins: Way to go, mom. At the rate you're going, we'll end up being born behind bars instead of in a remote cabin, on the side of a road, in an elevator shaft, the side room of St. Luke's or the walk-in cooler at Julie's Place.

Reply from Sami: Wait, exactly whose twins are these? Are they my grandkids??? Don't worry babies, Granny Sami's on her way to get custody!
 
Reply from "Nanny" Gwen: I can care for the Grant twins. There's plenty of room at the mansion and having a connection with a police detective will be a good move for me. Hmm, Abigail in handcuffs -- priceless.

Reply from the unborn Grant twins: OMG, quick, somebody call Mommy Nicole. She can care for us while Dad works and our felon Mom does time (which, sadly, she richly deserves). She will also save us from the clutches of scheming Gwen and the unbearable Granny Sami, Salem's self-styled "best mother." We've heard that Baby Henry Lucas Horton is having a fine time with Mommy Nicole and we want to join in the fun.
 
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Facebook post from Sami: Can someone tell me why that empty-headed, life-ruining, stoopid doodyhead John Black is referring to MY daughter as HIS granddaughter???? I thought I made it perfectly clear when I was back home that he is nothing to this family!! I hate him!

Reply from Marlena: Samantha Gene! Enough of this! John is as much your father as Roman. He loves your children. And might I remind you that you named Johnny after him.

Reply from Sami: Did not! I named Johnny after, ummm, uhhhh, after, Johnny Cash. Yeah, that's it, I named him after Johnny Cash because you know how much I love money.

Reply from Marlena: Why do I even bother?

Reply from John: Yeah, why do you even bother with that rotten little &*$@#????? She's just a nasty little witch who you should've let Stefano keep when he kidnapped the twins as infants. Hell, you should've let him keep that sourpuss twin of hers, too. You and Steve should start a support group for parents of miserable rotten kids. Invite Shane to your meetings, too.

Reply from Marlena: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Reply from Sami: Mom, how can you stay with that life-ruiner after he talked to me like that? Me!? You should dump stoopid John ASAP and go back to your true love, Daddy!

Reply from Marlena: Sami, dear, you have to show some understanding. John is going through a tough time right now and you have to admit that you've done many things to provoke him.

Reply from Sami: Sorry, Mom, but stoopid, fuzzy-brained John should just give everyone a break and go back into a coma. It's he only thing that he does well. As for myself, I may shout once in a while, but I'm always reasonable. Ask anyone.

Reply from Lucas: A reasonable Sami? That sounds like science fiction.

Reply from Rafe: A reasonable Sami? I don't remember any such person.

Reply from Kate: Sami reasonable? That's a joke. I'm so glad that i always tried to warn Lucas about her.

Reply from Sami: Shut up! I HATE you all!
 
Facebook post from Baby Henry: To quote my great-grandpa, what 'da hell???? I'm all comfy cozy in my crib, next thing I know, some rough guy grabs me, we sit on a park bench drinking (him, not me), then the loud one with the blue chunk takes me and shoots the rough guy. Is this normal??

Reply from Holly: Been there, done that. No big deal. You usually end up back with your mommy.

Reply from Sydney: Mommy Nicole kidnapped me a couple times, but it was OK since I love her. You're so lucky you get to live with her now.

Reply from Rachel: Daddy Xander kidnapped me. Wish I was still with him and Mommy Sarah, even if she does jibber-jabber. And Daddy Eric was OK when he wasn't sucking on lemons.

Reply from Tate: Hey, I got you all beat. I was kidnapped from inside mommy's body and had to grow inside that evil kreepy Kristen. --shudders--
 
Reply from Sami: What! My darling grandson was kidnapped and nobody told ME!!! As Daddy would say, "What da hell?"

Reply from Nicole: Relax, Sami. The show's over. The baby is safe. Kate saved him from Clyde.

Reply from Sami: You babyswitching tramp. It's probably your fault that Clyde was able to get his grubby paws on the kid.

Reply from Allie: Mom!!! Don't blame Nicole. It was all my fault. Clyde tricked me.

Reply from Sami: Don't cover from that trashy tramp. I simply know it's her fault. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was in cahoots with Clyde. Once a babysnatcher, always a babysnatcher.

Reply from Marlena: Sami dear, be nice. Everything is fine with the baby, but we've been having a very rough time in Salem.

Reply from Sami: What happened, did the life-ruiner go into another coma?

Reply from Marlena: Why do I even try?
 
DrBakerFan said:
Reply from Sami: Don't cover from that trashy tramp. I simply know it's her fault. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was in cahoots with Clyde. Once a babysnatcher, always a babysnatcher.
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Reply from Nicole: Wait, didn't you kidnap Belle when she was a baby and try to sell her on the black market?? Takes a babysnatcher to know a babysnatcher. Don't act like your hands are all clean here.

Reply from Belle: Yeah, if it weren't for Dad and Kristen going undercover, I would've been sold and raised by strangers. So get off your high horse, Sami.

Reply from Sami: [crickets chirping]
 
Reply from Sami: Get off your high horse, Dumb-Belle. All sorts of people would have been better off if I'd managed to palm you off on some suckers.

Reply from Marlena: Sami please, we're had enough unpleasantness here with Clyde, Orpheus, and Rolf on the loose.

Reply from Sami; Oh Rolf, Shmolf. Admit it, what I said is so true. With no Belle around, poor, dopey Shawn would have married a better woman (he'd even have been better off with Willow Stark), meaning there never would have been a firebug Claire; Jan Spears might not have turned into a raving nut case; nobody would have tried to pull the plug on you (remember that!); and so many people would have gotten themselves a better lawyer, who, unlike shyster Belle, might have won their cases.

Reply from Marlena: Oh Sami, this is so unkind and unhelpful.

Reply from Sami: Chill out Mom. Just be glad that I'm not also going off on the hopeless Bad Twin or our family's other awful lawyer, stoopid Carrie.

Reply from Marlena: Dear Lord, give me patience.
 
Her former lovers learning that at Kate slept with Jack has caused a tweetstorm in Salem.

EJ: Don't tell my sweet-hot, Samanther, but I have fond memories of my time with Kate. They help me pass the time while I'm wrapped in Charmin.

Ian McAllister: Kate may have failed Stefano's "test," but she certainly passed mine. Our trysts at the Salem Inn were the only worthwhile part of my failed plot against the DiMeras.

Clyde: Kate slept with that twit, Jack, but wouldn't give me a toss during my last escape? Life is so unfair.

John Black: I don't want to be unkind, but Kate would mate with a tree if the situation called for it. That's a fact.

Roman: What da hell? Is there any man in Salem that Kate won't sleep with?

Ghost Daniel: Ah, Kate. She was part of my greatest luv achievement -- bedding a grandmother and granddaughter. If only Eric Brady could hold his liquor, I might have had a chance to bed Billie Reed, giving me a truly rare trifecta.

Ghost Stefano: Hah, Kate can still bed the men. I'm not surprised. While I was alive, it wasn't only her mind that I adored.

Victor: OMG, Kate's bedded another man. As P.T. Barnum once said, "There's a sucker born every minute."
 
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