Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 30

Facebook post from Drew Donovan: Thanks to Jeannie, I'm no longer the worst Donovan in the family.

Reply from Shane: Need I remind you that you murdered Benjy Hawk's mother???

Reply from Drew: You're never going to let me forget that, are you?? Besides, that was decades ago. I've been on the straight and narrow for years, which is more than I can say for your daughters. At least Andrew turned out to be a good kid.

Reply from Shane: [sigh...] Bloody hell, you're right.

Post by mystery woman: I’ve done it, I’m in. They think that I’m Abigail.

Reply from Clyde: Good work, girl.

Reply from mystery woman: What’s our next move?

Reply from Clyde: Just sit tight.

Reply from mystery woman: How long will I be stuck here in this mausoleum of a house among these dull people?

Reply from Clyde: I don’t know.

Reply from mystery woman: What is the point of this plot?

Reply from Clyde: I’m figuring that out.

Reply from mystery woman: Oh, good grief.

Further reply from mystery woman: Am I still going to be stuck here in December and have to hang that stupid Horton ornament that says "Abby" on it??

Reply from Julie: [Gasp!] What did you just say??? Chad, I don't care if she's Abby or not, take her back to Poplar Bluff, right now! How dare she insult our honored tradition and beloved ornaments? Why couldn't you have found my darling Nicky instead?? At least he appreciated his ornament.

Message to Clyde from mystery woman: I don’t know what’s going on, but the old lady, Julie, is giving me fishy looks.

Reply from Clyde: Don’t worry about her. She’s an old coot who loves Nick Fallon.

Reply from mystery woman: Who’s Nick Fallon?

Reply from Clyde: Just a nerd who was murdered.

Reply from mystery woman: A murdered nerd — weird. And I don’t like the looks of that Kristen. She looks like she’d push you down the stairs.

Reply from Clyde: Watch your back. She just might.

Reply from mystery woman: I don’t like the looks of the guy in the picture.

Reply from Clyde: He’s the DiMera evil genius, but he’s dead — I think.

Reply from mystery woman: What about that guy with the beard — EJ?

Reply from Clyde: The evil genius’s son. He’s no genius, but he’s definitely evil.

Reply from mystery woman: Evil? I want out of here! I didn’t sign up for this!

DrBakerFan said:

Reply from Clyde: He’s the DiMera evil genius, but he’s dead — I think.

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Reply from Stefano's ghost: Oh Weston, you fool. I'm never really dead. I'm always lurking around. My essence is stored in many places, just waiting for a new host to carry my brilliant mind around Salem again, so you better keep looking over your shoulder.

Reply from Steve: You’d better believe it, Squirrel Stew. Stefano once made me his host. Remember Stevano? Clydano could be next.

Reply from Clyde: OMG, OMG. I’m, headed for the darkest depths of the Ozarks where I’ll be safe!

Reply from mystery woman: Hey, what about me!??

DrBakerFan said:

You’d better believe it, Squirrel Stew.

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Facebook post from Johnny: UGH! I'm scarred for life. My dad just told me he slept with Uncle Stefan's wife, Aunt Gabi. I need to bleach my mind!

Reply from Will: You think that's bad?? I walked in and saw our mom and your dad doing the nasty in the DiMansion living room when she was still married to Rafe. I needed bleach for my eyes. Ugh!

Reply from Sami: Oh shut up both of you! Did I ever tell you about when I saw mom and that life-ruining doodyhead John Black going at it on the Titan conference room table?? They ruined my life forever!

Reply from Johnny and Will: yeah, we're familiar with that song. Thanks.

Reply from Sami: Obviously, I have failed with both of you if you can’t tell the difference between my loving reconnection with EJ after life had tragically driven us apart and the disgusting, carnal gyrations of EJ and trampy Gabi, and my mother with that odious brain dead life-ruiner!

Reply from Will: OMG, I’m so glad I don’t live in Salem anymore.

Reply from Johnny: Count your blessings.

Facebook post from Allie: [giggling]

Reply from Johnny: What's so funny??

Reply from Allie: I sent mom a box of edibles, but didn't tell her what they were. She thinks they're just regular candy.

Reply from Will: No you didn't????

Reply from Allie: Hahaha, yes I did! Wonder if she's tried them yet??

Reply from Sami: Have I told you all lately how much I love Mom and John?? Sending them my biggest hugs! I also love Carrie and StinkerBelle. More hugs for them!

Reply from Johnny: Uhhh, yeah, she's eaten some.

Facebook post from Sami: Excuse me?? Why didn't anybody tell me that my fine son Xander got married and that stoopid Brady plowed down my daughter-in-law, Sarah?? And why wasn't I even invited to the wedding???

Reply from Eric: Sami, once again, Xander IS NOT your son. And by the way, Brady didn't hit Sarah. I helped solve the crime and he's being released from jail.

Reply from Sami: Why do you act like I don't even know who my kids are? Of course Xander is MY son. He and Ben are my two best sons. And you helped solve a crime? Ha! You couldn't help solve a riddle on the side of a Dixie cup.

Reply from Roman: Damn it, Sami! Why can't you give your brother props when he deserves them??

Reply from Sami: Because he's the stoopid bad twin, that's why.

Reply from Marlena: Roman, don't even bother. We have to quit feeding her ridiculous delusions.

Reply from Sami: Stuff a sock in it, mom! You know I'm the good twin and Eric is the useless bad twin. I'm the best kid you or Daddy had! You should worship at my feet.

Reply from Carrie, Belle, Rex and Cassie:

Reply from Xander: Believe it, Eric is a true hero. He saved me from ruining my life and Sarah’s by seeking revenge against innocent Brady!

Reply from Sami: OMG, my fine son has drunk the Salem Kool-Aid. Eric could never be a hero. It’s against the laws of nature. As for Brady, he’s not innocent. That dunce is always guilt of something.

Facebook post from Gabi Hernandez: Ugh, as if I didn't have enough to worry about with my divorce, I found out my cousin is dating freaking LEO of all people! I tried to convince him to stay away from him, but does he listen? Nooo!

Reply from Will Horton: Not fun when it happens, is it? Remember Nick?

Reply from Gabi Hernandez: Exactly!

Reply from Will Horton: Okay, well, hopefully you'll have an easier time than Sonny and I did.

Facebook post from Sonny Kiriakis: So, did Andrew Donovan and Javi Hernandez come out after I did? 'Cause when I came to Salem, everyone acted like they've never met a gay person before they met me.

Reply from Will Horton: They did, actually.

Reply from Sonny Kiriakis: Oh. Okay, cool. Happy to be the first, then.

Reply from Will Horton: You don't sound happy.

Reply from Sonny KIriakis: Well, I am!

Facebook post from Steven Olson: So yeah, in case you didn't know, I'm the black sheep of the Horton family. I am, ooops, was, a crook and con artist. I sold drugs and stole jewelry. Passed off forgeries as fine antiques.

Reply from EJ and Kristen: Lightweight.

Reply from Jeremy Horton: Dude, you're singing the song of my people! Why has no one told me about this cousin?? Love ya, man!

Reply from Ghost Nick Fallon: Ha! That's all so cute and quaint. By the way, they still hang our ornaments, so we all must be OK in the eyes of the family.

Reply from Xander: I did all of that, and then some, before my morning coffee back in the day.

Reply from Clyde: Hey, Steven buddy, why don't you give me a call sometime?

Reply from Rafe: Reading these posts makes me glad that I quit the Salem P.D. With people like this around, law enforcement is simply impossible.

Facebook post from Young Dougie: So, Auntie Hope, why do you look at me so suspiciously?

Reply from Hope: Seems odd that Little Dougie, I mean Charles, had a son named after Daddy and never thought to let us know.

Reply from Young Dougie: You know things were kind of awkward between Grandpa Robert and your dad after Grandma Rebecca died. But hey, I'm here to reconnect with my family. My cousins Ciara and Shawn Douglas seem great! I heard your granddaughter Claire is really nice, too.

Reply from Hope: Excuse me??? My granddaughter???? Now I know you're an imposter because no one in Salem would ever presume Ciara's little friend Claire is my granddaughter. I'm far too young to have any grandchildren, especially a grown young woman.

Reply from Jennifer: Uhhhh, cuz, you have three grandchildren, Claire, Baby Bo and Baby Addie.

Reply from Hope: Ohhhhh, Jen, you're still suffering apparent head injuries from your fall over the balcony that night.

Reply from Sami: Ha! This is rich! Old Granny Hope doesn't even know who her kids and grandkids are! Hilarious!

Reply from Lucas: Ummmm, Sami, pot, kettle.

Reply from Sami: Shut up, you stoopid kidnapper! I know who my kids are: Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy. Oh, and my absolute pride and joy, my fine son Xander.

Reply from Young Dougie: Aren't those the Brady Bunch kids?

Reply from Sami: Of course they are, we are all one big happy Brady bunch.

Reply from Young Dougie: Good lord, what in the world did I just stumble into here???

Facebook post from Sarah to Xander: Honey, doesn't it bother you that Sami Brady thinks you're one of her kids?

Reply from Xander: Nahhh, she's pretty harmless. More annoying, like a gnat.

Reply from Sarah: you do know that she once shot EJ in the head, and shot and killed a Salem cop who was going to slice off Rafe's family jewels while he was in a coma.

Reply from Xander: Sami! You are the best mummy in the world and I'm thankful to be your fine son. XOXOXO

JS, all kidding aside, Sami would make a better mother for Xander than the awful Fiona. Sami has done all sorts of rotten things, but she never ran down anyone and let somebody else take the rap. If fact, if Xander learned that his real mother was Sami, it would be party time at the K-Mansion and for all Titan employees. Farfetched — sure — but no worse than John’s father being thought to be the grotesque Yo-Daddy when it was really the lovable Daddy Van Dyke.

sure was glad they fixed that family tree.........

Facebook post from Jennifer: As sad as it will be, I'm really looking forward to everybody hanging their ornaments on Christmas Eve this year.

Reply from Little Dougie III: I've heard about the tradition and can't wait to be involved.

Reply from Jennifer: Sorry, only those who haven't stolen Gram's diamond necklace are invited.

Reply from Hope: Yeah cuz, you said it.

Reply from Ciara: I thought Uncle Steven stole it??

Reply from Little Dougie III: Yeah, he looked super shady to me.

Reply from Steven: How did you even see me?? I was gone before you showed up.

Reply from Little Dougie III: D'oh