Headlines from the Salem Intruder, Part 4

[JasonDíSpeech]

While the Spectator waffles due to conflicts of interest and a bizarre publishing aperiodicity, the Intruder releases several articles focusing on the mayor's escapades with daily updates. Their titles:

MAYOR BREAKS QUARANTINE, STEALS CITY PROPERTY

MAYOR IGNORES EXPERTS, ENDANGERS CITIZENS

RADIOACTIVE RESCUE HAS SMITH ISLANDERS BEFUDDLED

DOZENS EXPOSED TO RADIATION, HOSPITAL OVERWHELMED

BELEAGUERED MAYOR BEMOANS HEALTH SCARE

DA PROBING MAYOR'S IRRESPONSIBLE ACTIONS

 

[DrBakerFan]

More from the Intruder.

"I’D DO IT AGAIN” HOWLS BELEAGUERED MAYOR

SMITH ISLAND RACCOONS TELL OF PAULINA HORROR

WILL CHANEL’S BABY GLOW IN THE DARK?

WERE YOU ENDANGERED BY RADIOACTIVE MAYOR? FOUR WAYS TO TELL

RUMORS SUGGEST MAYOR IS TURNING INTO A MUTANT; COULD THEY BE TRUE?

EXTREME DANGER; EXPERTS SPEAK OUT ON RECKLESS SNOWPLOW DRIVERS

“STAY OUT OF DOWNTOWN OR FACE ARREST”; DA EJ’S WARNING TO IRRADIATED MAYOR